smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize