What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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