Need sex. Gaining weight.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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