Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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