I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
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Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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