chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
