Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
