I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize
