ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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