He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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