I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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