Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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