So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
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You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
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you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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