Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
