The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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