It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
