guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
