I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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