i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
