pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
