...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
grandma shit on top of the toilet
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
