i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
