scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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