tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
