just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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