i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
