Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
