hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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