The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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