No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
