dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
