i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
pop tarts are not kleenex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Someone signed my nipple.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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