I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
