How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
