he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
