Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
