I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You are a genius and a whore.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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