why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I skipped work to stalk him.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
