Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
