I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
