God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
