I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
