i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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