found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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