tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
