You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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