Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
