Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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