my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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