Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
