Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
