Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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