How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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