Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize