He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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