'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I FOUND THE LEGS
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize
