Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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