I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i dont even know how to be here
The police scanner is talking about you again....
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
