My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
