Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
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I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
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It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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