had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
