Swine flu. Run for my life!
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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